Here's a word from one of my clients....

I received an email from one of my clients yesterday.  He experienced coaching with me throughout last year.  As a coach, it is fantastic to know that I have been able to supply him the tools to maintain his own momentum and put into play some things that he has wanted to get back into for a very long time.  If you are missing something or want to change something about your life, maybe you are just plain unhappy, why not call me and see if coaching can help you to make your life happier or better.

My client says:
I’ve finally pushed in the clutch and engaged first gear! And rolling along!!
Back into the camping which is great and have decided to go camping/boating at least once a fortnight.
I get out there and now realize what the hell i’ve been missing out on, what an idiot!

Thanks again for your help in getting me moving, i thought i was going to have to come back end of last year,
but i’ve managed to get moving again , thank god! or should i say you!

I’m finding some of the people working for me are still draining me a bit, one in particular,
so i’ve started switching off from him, his negative energy just radiates from him like a lightbulb,
he doesn’t even have to open his mouth, it just pours out of him!

I’ve started listening to mike losier again in the car, sometimes i just play it over and over.
It’s just nice positive simple to understand stuff that makes sense.

If you know of anymore stuff like losier please let me know, i love it!

Journal Your Gratitude

If you have tendencies to always look for the worst in others, that is all you will see and in turn thinking about the Law of Attraction, that is what you will get more of.  In my own personal opionion, this is how most relationships break down.  We are always looking for the bad in others as that is how we have been conditioned over our life.  And then we spend so much time looking for the bad in someone, we start to think that is all they are made of.
We are all made up of so much more than good or bad.  Try to practice looking for things you are grateful for in others.  You will be more in the present for starters(as you are trying to catch them doing things you are grateful for) and you will start to see people's positive points and therefore you will get more of that from the people around you.
Why not take it a step further?  Keep a record of all that you are grateful for in a 'Gratitude Journal'.  You can keep track of people you are grateful for, nature events, people's words, your own thoughts or actions, the list is endless.
Now, when will you write in your gratitude journal?

Keeping Motivated

What keeps people motivated are new ideas and activities, tiny bite size achievable goals, praise for the right actions and activities and a fun and enthusiastic approach.  When you are next working towards a bigger goal, take these points into account when drawing up your action plan.  Brainstorm your ideas and keep them handy, set yourself small bite sized goals, reward and praise yourself for the right behaviour and remember HAVE FUN!  

I recently wrote this piece whilst I was camping, not knowing what was to follow.  Then along came this brilliant idea, sparked off by a conversation with a dear friend and what has unfolded is this: http://inspiremotivatecreateachieve.blogspot.com/

It's one of my new blogs and if you haven't already checked it out, please do so and let me know what you think.

Grateful for our relationships

I read this quote by one of my friends on Facebook the other day.  It is by Rhondalyn Korolak and she says "We don't fall in love with someone else.....we fall in love with the way we feel about ourselves when that person is around."
It made me stop and think.  To me, that is absolutely true.  For all relationships.  It is about how you feel when you are with that person.  You know, we talk about being around like minded people because you feel good when you are.  It also kind of contradicts the 'living in the present' thing as well.  If you are totally present it shouldn't matter how someone else is as it is only of consequence at the moment it is happening.  So I have to confess.  I'm a little confused.
What I do know is you can enhance relationships by focusing on the good things about someone (or about the situation) or by simply living in the present instead of overthinking or thinking prolongingly about something someone has done or said.  And this is what I choose to do.
I am very grateful for all my relationships, even the ones where I have the most learnings......how grateful are you for your relationships?  When you are lying in bed, preparing for sleep, think of someone who is very special to you.  Think about what you are most grateful for in regards to that person and mentally, say thank you to them.  If it were your family (husband, partner, children, parents etc) what would you mentally say thank you to them for?  What are you most grateful for in regards to that person?  You may, as previously suggested, feel motivated enough to send them a small note or some communication telling them how you appreciate them  Give it a go tonight, before sleep.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic or how you feel after trying this tip.  Look forward to your comments. 

"You have your way.  I have my way.  As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), Germany

Celebrate Similarities

At this time of year, some of us have probably spent more time than usual attending group celebrations with a diverse range of people; family groups, groups of friends, acquaintenances, workmates, etc.  When you are mixing in a group, you can easily become aware of many differences within that group; points of view, likes and dislikes, temperaments and dispositions, routines, personalities, etc.  At times, your immediate, impulsive reaction to this is to judge, gossip and berate.  To accept that others are different to you and to rejoice that variety is a challenging yet satisfying place to be.  It also allows you to celebrate when you find similarities.

How was your festive season?  Were you accepting of others?  Did you relax and let it all go over your head? 

I hope you had a fantastic New Year beginning.  Are you starting to focus on your goals for the new year/decade?  I am thinking of blogging some ideas for setting goals and creating focus so you can achieve your goals more readily.  Would you be interested?  Let me know some questions you would like some suggestions for and I will attempt to answer them or find the answers.

Christmas Wishes

I trust that at this time of the day, the presents are almost all wrapped, the groceries are in the fridge/pantry and the drinks are being chilled. If you have managed to put any of my tips into practice, this year, I hope it has culminated in a calm, peaceful lead up to Christmas. If not, aim for that tomorrow.


Christmas is the time of year many worry and stress. Does it really matter? If you don’t have it or you haven’t made it, how much difference is it going to make to the overall day? If you are focusing on the moment and enjoying each minute as they pass tomorrow, the only thing that will matter is that minute, and what’s happening in that minute.

So relax, enjoy, and take the time tomorrow to absorb the children’s faces as they unwrap their presents, be totally present when your partner wishes you Merry Christmas and gives you a big hug and as many families only get together on this special day, enjoy being present in your families company for such a short time.

I also want to wish you a very merry and safe Christmas from myself and my family. And have a Happy New Year. It’s the start of the new decade and as my Dad used to say, whatever you are doing on New Year’s Day you will be doing for the rest of the year so make it a good one! (I know that’s not exactly true. I do like to hold that thought for a while on New Year’s Day though!)

Tips for making tomorrow peaceful and calm:

What do you want your Christmas Day to look like? What do you want it to feel like? What would you like to be doing? What do you want to smell? What do you want to taste?

To help you achieve the type of day you desire tomorrow, try visualizing it before you go to bed tonight. What action will you need to take to make that happen? Do you need to write yourself some notes about what has to happen tomorrow? Do you need to let anyone else know what your plans are or maybe what they can do to help? If there is something you don’t have, what can you use in place of that? Is it best left out altogether. What do you have that you are grateful for?

Remember, peace and calm is the key to happiness today, tomorrow and each day after that. Take action now to ensure a peaceful and calm tomorrow.

No New Posts?

Just thought I would quickly pop in to let you know I am on holidays in Western Australia.  I have absolutely had many challenging situations with living in the now.  I am enjoying the challenge.  It's also been fun to consciously revisit the past.  I am staying with my sister and we have had many fun times in the past and some of these have come flooding in during our many wonderful conversations. 
One of the most magical totally present moments have been watching as a Facebook friend, Rae Threnoworth from Blue Element Photography and Rae Marie Photography, took photos of my sister, her daughter (my niece) and her grandaughter at sunset.  I snapped some photos also, of course, of the sunset and my sister and her family on the beach.  To watch the sunset over the water is truly magical for someone who lives where the sun rises over the water. Here is a link to Rae's website: http://www.blueelement.com.au/index2.php and here is a link to the first of the photos on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/raenbow/4187355762/ .  Rae definitely has a gift at capturing natural beauty.

Expressing Gratitude

At this time of the year, it is very easy to get caught up in the preparation and excitement of Christmas and to forget about the things and people we are most grateful for all year through.  When was the last time you verbally expressed to someone your appreciation or gratitude?  When was the last time you showed your gratitude or appreciation with a note or card to someone special(and Christmas cards don't count!). Who would be the first five special people you would like to verbally express your gratitude to?  What's stopping you?  There's no time like the present. 

Are you a multi tasker?

Well, it's getting to be a busy time of the year.  With many tasks requiring completion, sometimes it feels almost as if they all need to be done at once.  And so you step up the skill of multi tasking. 
BEWARE!  Do you get to the end of another multi tasking day, collapse in a heap on the sofa or your bed exhausted?  Multi tasking not only can decrease the results of the task, it also zaps your energy.  Not to mention the fact that the quality of your time spent doing these tasks will also be reduced (you won't enjoy any of the things you do) because you will be having difficulty staying in the present.  You will be focusing on all the things you are doing at once rather than that one thing, kind of like a juggling act.  I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed as I have felt it many times before and was starting to feel that this week, then I brought myself back into the present, stopped focusing on EVERYTHING I had to do and focused on one task and that feeling went away.  So how can you reduce your tasks or change your situation so you can enjoy everything you do and have a peaceful and calm life, even at one of the most busiest times of the year?  Here are some key questions that might help you to make some changes:
Could you set some personal policies around times that are only for your family or tasks or work?  Could you trust your gut instincts and say 'no' to those invitations your really not passionate about?  Could you block out days for Christmas shopping or regular tasks and say 'no' to anything else that comes along on those days?  Could you pass some of the tasks to other people?  Could you just simply stop thinking about those things and focus on the present and manage events in your diary?
If all else fails, give me a call.  I'm happy to help you gain some peace and joy over the festive season (and any time of the year really!).  So remember, living in the present is the key!
Remember this quote from Joan Rivers:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it 'the present'.

International Men's Day

Today is International Men's Day.  What can you do to to say thank you to that special man in your life; be it husband, partner, father, brother, son, Father-in-Law, Grandfather, friend, boss, employee, workmate, etc.   Let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life today.

Here is some special info about International Men's Day and a link to the website.

International Men's Day began on November 19th 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago and was supported by the United Nations. The event received wide support from men's groups in USA, Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Caribbean. Speaking on behalf of UNESCO, Ms. Ingeborg Breines, Director of Women and Culture of Peace said, “This is an excellent idea and would give some gender balance.” She added that her organisation was looking forward to cooperating with organisers of IMD.


Objectives of International Men's Day include a focus on men's and boy's health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models. It is an occasion for men to highlight discrimination against them and to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular for their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care. The November IMD is a significant date as it interfaces the popular 'Movember' charity event and also with Universal Children's Day on Nov 20 with which IMD forms a 48 hour celebration of men and children respectively, and of the special relationships they share.

The ability to sacrifice your needs on behalf of others is fundamental to manhood as is honour. Manhood rites of passage the world over recognise the importance of sacrifice in the development of Manhood. Men make sacrifices everyday in their place of work, in their role as husbands and fathers, for their families, for their friends, for their communities and for their nation. International Men’s Day is an opportunity for people everywhere of goodwill to appreciate and celebrate the men in their lives and the contribution they make to society for the greater good of all.

During the past ten years methods of commemorating International Men's Day have included public seminars, classroom activities at schools, radio and television programs, Church observances, and peaceful displays and marches. The manner of observing this annual day is optional; any organizations are welcome to host their own events and any appropriate forums can be used. Early pioneers of IMD reminded that the day is not intended to compete against International Woman's Day, but is for the purpose of highlighting men's experiences. Each year a different theme is highlighted, such as peace in 2002, men’s health in 2003, sacrifice in 2008, and positive male role models in 2009. In consultation with organizers from other nations the following broad objectives of IMD are observed:

• Celebrate manhood and the wonderful positive and valuable contributions our men, young men, and boys make to our communities and to our societies

• Promote and Support gender equality, encouraging men to address responsibly and positively the challenges facing them in society

• Demonstrate strength of character and courage in meeting the challenges that men face in society and in contributing to building stronger and better communities, where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential.

• Highlighting positive male role models, not just movie stars and sports men but everyday, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.

International Men's Day is celebrated in Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Australia, India, Italy, United States, New Zealand, Moldova, Haiti, Singapore, Malta, South Africa, Ghana, Hungary, Canada, China, and the United Kingdom. Join us on November 19 in celebrating the contribution men make to those around them, to their family and friends, their work place and the community, the nations and the world.



Dads4Kids is honoured to host the Men's Day website and we invite you to join the global celebrations. Please feel free to roam and read the IMD history sections or to contribute to our world forums or planning blogs as we launch toward the 2009 events. Anyone is welcome to quote material from this website (attribution to this website is required), as well as free and open use of our logo and access to IMD promotional kits.
Check out info on International Men's Day here:
http://www.internationalmensday.com/

Better Relationships

What do you focus on when having a conversiong with your family, your friends or your colleagues?  What about acquaintances and prospective clients?   I used to focus on what my feelings or experiences were.  For example; if someone was telling me about what they did on the weekend, instead of listening to their words and what they were saying, I was constantly thinking of other stuff.  So not only did I remember less about that person and their life, I also had reduced, self centred relationships.
Today in your relationships, whatever sort they are, try focusing on  the person who you are speaking with and their words.  Try providing them and your conversation together, with your undivided attention.  Then when it is appropriate to share, you will be able to share the right thing, idea or the right feeling as it will be present just simply from listening.  Notice what happens with the energy between you and that person.
I would love to hear your comments about what you noticed and how you felt, and if at all it changed anything for you.  Have a fun day!

Black & White?

Some people believe there are two types of people when it comes to change.  One type love change and thrive on it.  They do all they can to bring about change whenever and wherever possible.  The other group, of course, are the opposite.  Change scares them.  In fact, they do all they can to avoid change, sometimes at all costs.
There is, however, another group.  The grey area, you might say.  This group of people strive to change things they can and should change and they also have the ability to recognise things they shouldn't change.  They let these things roll along.  Trusting their intuition, enjoying the ride.  Which group are you in?  Is this the group you would like to be in?  If not, what could you do to be that person?  Do you need help to become that 'type' of person in regards to change?

The Art of Saying No

An interesting thing just happened.  Earlier I spoke with a friend on the phone.  Her life is extremely busy at the moment and things are quite overwhelming for her.  She is taking some steps to change this and she told me that one of the steps is to say no to things; events, requests etc that she doesn't get an immediate positive feeling or positive 'gut reaction' from.  I likened this to actually listening to her intuition.
When I had finished the call, I wanted to start my latest blog post and was looking for inspiration for the post in that new book I wrote about previously called "1001 Ways to Live in the Moment"by Barbara Ann Kipfer.  I thought I would write about whatever page I opened up at.  Low and behold if the page I opened up on wasn't about the art of saying no!
What Barbara says about the art of saying no is that there are two sides of living in the now.  One is to look for and take the best opportunities that come your way.  The other is to say no to anything that comes your way that works against what you stand for or goes against your values or gives you that negative 'gut reaction'. 
Something I have been working on with my clients is setting yourself some personal policies around trusting this feeling and living in the now so you can actually notice what this gut reaction is and then make a decision.  
We talk about manifesting the life we want.  Quite often we are living too much in the past or the future to be able to see the opportunities happening for us now that will help us manifest what we want in our lives.  Example:  You are stressed  and constantly worrying about what you haven't achieved.  You are sick of being stressed but don't know how to change it.  The kids(insert partner, family, friends here) are always nagging you to go and have some fun with them.  Can't they see you are really stressed and busy.......
If you just stopped all the thoughts running through your mind and lived in the present, you would see the opportunity to change your life to what you want (more fun) is right there in front of you.  What's stopping you now?  If it's just a matter of taking that first step, find someone who can help you and motivate you to take that first step.  The steps after the first one will become easier and you will have fun!  Trust me!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Fact or fiction?

I wanted to share a tip which was just given to me by the lovely Leiza.  It is in regards to when your mind is making 'stuff' up.  What does that mean?  Well, you know when your friend says they will call you back and they don't.  Then, you start thinking they didn't ring me because........(they don't like me, I've done something to uspset them, they are sick, etc).
Leiza asks herself this question; Is it fact or is it fiction?  That is a great question, isn't it?  Do you have proof?  Usually the answer is know.  Go with the facts.  They haven't rung you back because they haven't rung you back.  It's as simple as that.  Thanks for sharing, Leiza.
What do you think about this question?  Leave me a comment or contact me direct.  You might have another great one to share.

Working in the 'Now'

I had a bit of a revelation yesterday.  Most of my blogs are about how, as a person, you can utilise living in the present to create a peaceful and calm life.  In my coaching business, I coach individuals (who, incidentally are usually owners of small businesses) to bring peace, calm and fun into their lives.  After hearing someone's story today, I have realised the importance of linking the two; living in the present and getting more from you work. 
I, personally, discovered living in the present as a fantastic tool to increase the success of my coaching.  I have a practice I use before my coaching sessions to ensure when I coach, I am totally present and fully focused on each and every client and their own agenda (not mine or whatever is happening in my life at the time).  I never made the connection before though, of how this could benefit others in businesses other than coaching.
So, I hear you ask, what was this story I heard?  I heard about a guy who owns his own business and used to constantly take his work home; constantly thinking about work no matter where he was.  To avoid thinking about work other than at work, he created a practice of writing a 'to do' list of things he has to do the next day, before leaving work and then he does a sort of 5 minute "meditation" if you like, where he just focuses on his breathing and nothing else.  Then he goes home to his family and feels life is much more fun as work stays at work.  It removes the constant stress from his life and he feels much more relaxed.
That is when I realised the practice of being present at work for everyone could have loads of benefits.  What would being present at work mean for you?  Would it mean closing more deals?  Would it mean making less mistakes and thus increasing productivity?  Would it mean you might actually enjoy work?  I would love to hear what this could mean for you.  Please email me or comment on this blog. 

1001 Ways to Live in the Moment

by Barbara Ann Kipfer. It's the title of a new book I have found. I thought I would love to share bits and pieces as I get to them. In the introduction it talks about what living in the now is (and isn't). I love the description it gives; "Living in the now, for a mature being, is about appreciating the passing moment as a fundamental of existence, accepting whatever comes our way, whatever we cannot change-including our own aging."
It also goes on to say it's not about our possessions, people, habits or past times. The writer also says that it's about being positive, not about living in the past (or being overwhelmed by nostalgia or regrets is how it is put in this book) or having delusional hopes or anxieties.
It also talks about 'Clock Time'. If you have read 'The Power of Now' you will be familiar with this phrase. Clock time , Barbara says, is an artificial order which we have put on the organic flow of experience. As we all know, 'Clock Time' can rule our lives, if we allow it. In coaching, something people often seek is 'Time Management' skills. Some find Time Management is important however sometimes with strict time management, we lose our freedom. The freedom to 'be' ourselves. Isn't that what being totally present is all about. Just being?
Take some time out for yourself today to just 'be'. Rest not rust! How can you change your busy schedule today to fit in 5 or 10 minutes of 'being'? If you are out and about in the car today, stop off at a park or the beach or some other place you love and just 'be'. If you are working in retail or in an office, maybe it might be on the way home from work this afternoon or during your lunch break. Kids at home today? Maybe they could practice 'being' with you. They are sometimes experts at 'being'. Maybe tonight when you get home you can go outside and lie down in your backyard and look up at the stars and just 'be'. There are lots of simple ways to 'be'. Grab yourself 5 or 10 minutes and love what you get from that time. In a busy world, often it's the simple things that make our day peaceful and calm.

Can exercise help to stop stress and worry?

In a survey by the University of Sydney, they say absolutely! There are many benefits. The first is probably the most obvious; being physically fit and healthy which in turn increases self-esteem. Exercise also releases endorphins which are kind of like a happy drug for the body, making you feel calm and exercise also burns up the stress hormone call 'cortisol'. Muscle tension and headaches can also be relieved by exercise, especially if that includes stretching. And what happens when you exercise, you usually get a more restful sleep. It increases your metabolism, makes you concentrate (or live in the present) whilst you are doing that task and therefore you have an almost forced break from stress and worry.
So what can you do? Well, if you haven't exercised for a while, you won't want to run a marathon. Start with light exercise, something that you feel is within your capabilities. Perhaps a light walk. Of course this isn't going to make you feel like Mr or Mrs Universe today, but you will notice a change. Now that it is coming into summer, it might be a great time to go for a swim or do some water aerobics. If a gym is more your cup of tea, many gyms are offering specials now coming into summer. They will also advise the best program for your ability. Get your pushbike out and go for a ride, bring the kids or partner if that makes it easier to fit it in or maybe more fun. Or maybe ask a friend to join you. All these things will get you moving at your own pace and help you move toward a more fun, relaxed, calm life. Remember, if you have any health issues or are unsure, get yourself checked out by a medical professional before you start.
If motivation or dedication is the struggle for you, that's where I can help. That's what I do. I help people to free themselves from stress, worry and guilt so if it's motivation you need or direction or perhaps persistence, call me.

Get Happy!

When you have a spare 8 mins, have a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umxO5YK5NSU&feature=related