Friday, November 27, 2009

Are you a multi tasker?

Well, it's getting to be a busy time of the year.  With many tasks requiring completion, sometimes it feels almost as if they all need to be done at once.  And so you step up the skill of multi tasking. 
BEWARE!  Do you get to the end of another multi tasking day, collapse in a heap on the sofa or your bed exhausted?  Multi tasking not only can decrease the results of the task, it also zaps your energy.  Not to mention the fact that the quality of your time spent doing these tasks will also be reduced (you won't enjoy any of the things you do) because you will be having difficulty staying in the present.  You will be focusing on all the things you are doing at once rather than that one thing, kind of like a juggling act.  I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed as I have felt it many times before and was starting to feel that this week, then I brought myself back into the present, stopped focusing on EVERYTHING I had to do and focused on one task and that feeling went away.  So how can you reduce your tasks or change your situation so you can enjoy everything you do and have a peaceful and calm life, even at one of the most busiest times of the year?  Here are some key questions that might help you to make some changes:
Could you set some personal policies around times that are only for your family or tasks or work?  Could you trust your gut instincts and say 'no' to those invitations your really not passionate about?  Could you block out days for Christmas shopping or regular tasks and say 'no' to anything else that comes along on those days?  Could you pass some of the tasks to other people?  Could you just simply stop thinking about those things and focus on the present and manage events in your diary?
If all else fails, give me a call.  I'm happy to help you gain some peace and joy over the festive season (and any time of the year really!).  So remember, living in the present is the key!
Remember this quote from Joan Rivers:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it 'the present'.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

International Men's Day

Today is International Men's Day.  What can you do to to say thank you to that special man in your life; be it husband, partner, father, brother, son, Father-in-Law, Grandfather, friend, boss, employee, workmate, etc.   Let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life today.

Here is some special info about International Men's Day and a link to the website.

International Men's Day began on November 19th 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago and was supported by the United Nations. The event received wide support from men's groups in USA, Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Caribbean. Speaking on behalf of UNESCO, Ms. Ingeborg Breines, Director of Women and Culture of Peace said, “This is an excellent idea and would give some gender balance.” She added that her organisation was looking forward to cooperating with organisers of IMD.

Objectives of International Men's Day include a focus on men's and boy's health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models. It is an occasion for men to highlight discrimination against them and to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular for their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care. The November IMD is a significant date as it interfaces the popular 'Movember' charity event and also with Universal Children's Day on Nov 20 with which IMD forms a 48 hour celebration of men and children respectively, and of the special relationships they share.

The ability to sacrifice your needs on behalf of others is fundamental to manhood as is honour. Manhood rites of passage the world over recognise the importance of sacrifice in the development of Manhood. Men make sacrifices everyday in their place of work, in their role as husbands and fathers, for their families, for their friends, for their communities and for their nation. International Men’s Day is an opportunity for people everywhere of goodwill to appreciate and celebrate the men in their lives and the contribution they make to society for the greater good of all.

During the past ten years methods of commemorating International Men's Day have included public seminars, classroom activities at schools, radio and television programs, Church observances, and peaceful displays and marches. The manner of observing this annual day is optional; any organizations are welcome to host their own events and any appropriate forums can be used. Early pioneers of IMD reminded that the day is not intended to compete against International Woman's Day, but is for the purpose of highlighting men's experiences. Each year a different theme is highlighted, such as peace in 2002, men’s health in 2003, sacrifice in 2008, and positive male role models in 2009. In consultation with organizers from other nations the following broad objectives of IMD are observed:

• Celebrate manhood and the wonderful positive and valuable contributions our men, young men, and boys make to our communities and to our societies

• Promote and Support gender equality, encouraging men to address responsibly and positively the challenges facing them in society

• Demonstrate strength of character and courage in meeting the challenges that men face in society and in contributing to building stronger and better communities, where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential.

• Highlighting positive male role models, not just movie stars and sports men but everyday, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.

International Men's Day is celebrated in Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Australia, India, Italy, United States, New Zealand, Moldova, Haiti, Singapore, Malta, South Africa, Ghana, Hungary, Canada, China, and the United Kingdom. Join us on November 19 in celebrating the contribution men make to those around them, to their family and friends, their work place and the community, the nations and the world.

Dads4Kids is honoured to host the Men's Day website and we invite you to join the global celebrations. Please feel free to roam and read the IMD history sections or to contribute to our world forums or planning blogs as we launch toward the 2009 events. Anyone is welcome to quote material from this website (attribution to this website is required), as well as free and open use of our logo and access to IMD promotional kits.
Check out info on International Men's Day here:

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Better Relationships

What do you focus on when having a conversiong with your family, your friends or your colleagues?  What about acquaintances and prospective clients?   I used to focus on what my feelings or experiences were.  For example; if someone was telling me about what they did on the weekend, instead of listening to their words and what they were saying, I was constantly thinking of other stuff.  So not only did I remember less about that person and their life, I also had reduced, self centred relationships.
Today in your relationships, whatever sort they are, try focusing on  the person who you are speaking with and their words.  Try providing them and your conversation together, with your undivided attention.  Then when it is appropriate to share, you will be able to share the right thing, idea or the right feeling as it will be present just simply from listening.  Notice what happens with the energy between you and that person.
I would love to hear your comments about what you noticed and how you felt, and if at all it changed anything for you.  Have a fun day!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Black & White?

Some people believe there are two types of people when it comes to change.  One type love change and thrive on it.  They do all they can to bring about change whenever and wherever possible.  The other group, of course, are the opposite.  Change scares them.  In fact, they do all they can to avoid change, sometimes at all costs.
There is, however, another group.  The grey area, you might say.  This group of people strive to change things they can and should change and they also have the ability to recognise things they shouldn't change.  They let these things roll along.  Trusting their intuition, enjoying the ride.  Which group are you in?  Is this the group you would like to be in?  If not, what could you do to be that person?  Do you need help to become that 'type' of person in regards to change?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Art of Saying No

An interesting thing just happened.  Earlier I spoke with a friend on the phone.  Her life is extremely busy at the moment and things are quite overwhelming for her.  She is taking some steps to change this and she told me that one of the steps is to say no to things; events, requests etc that she doesn't get an immediate positive feeling or positive 'gut reaction' from.  I likened this to actually listening to her intuition.
When I had finished the call, I wanted to start my latest blog post and was looking for inspiration for the post in that new book I wrote about previously called "1001 Ways to Live in the Moment"by Barbara Ann Kipfer.  I thought I would write about whatever page I opened up at.  Low and behold if the page I opened up on wasn't about the art of saying no!
What Barbara says about the art of saying no is that there are two sides of living in the now.  One is to look for and take the best opportunities that come your way.  The other is to say no to anything that comes your way that works against what you stand for or goes against your values or gives you that negative 'gut reaction'. 
Something I have been working on with my clients is setting yourself some personal policies around trusting this feeling and living in the now so you can actually notice what this gut reaction is and then make a decision.  
We talk about manifesting the life we want.  Quite often we are living too much in the past or the future to be able to see the opportunities happening for us now that will help us manifest what we want in our lives.  Example:  You are stressed  and constantly worrying about what you haven't achieved.  You are sick of being stressed but don't know how to change it.  The kids(insert partner, family, friends here) are always nagging you to go and have some fun with them.  Can't they see you are really stressed and busy.......
If you just stopped all the thoughts running through your mind and lived in the present, you would see the opportunity to change your life to what you want (more fun) is right there in front of you.  What's stopping you now?  If it's just a matter of taking that first step, find someone who can help you and motivate you to take that first step.  The steps after the first one will become easier and you will have fun!  Trust me!