Thursday, November 25, 2010
Real Simple
Gotta love this post from Real Simple blog http://bit.ly/g2sB4p It might help you to stay peaceful, calm and happy this silly season.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Happiness Is..
Happiness Is:
Barrel Racing (Michelle Sorrell), Spending time with the kids (Heather Sorrell), The Freedom of the outdoors (Carmel Allen), a peaceful acceptance of yourself and where you are in life(Sue Marsh), The photo that reminds you why you take so many photos, hugs from my six year old (Michelle Wills) and Something to do, something to love and something to hope for(Virginia Ollett). Thank you to all the contributors. I love it and have already looked at it a trillion times and I'm sure I will look at it a trillion more. Thanks for giving me some new perspectives on Happiness.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Love My Family's Sense of Humour
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Dance Like ...
My husband has borrowed a kind of "boom box" for his father's 70th party. It's a 70's for 70 party and this "boom box" has got a USB connection etc and let's just say my son has more knowledge about ipod connection than my husband and I put together. As my son's ipod is filled with applications, it was sounding like my MP3 player was sounding like a good fall back position for the party in case the "planned music" doesn't come to fruition. So we thought we would try to connect my MP3 to the "boom box". When I plugged it in, I discovered a whole load of songs I had forgotten I had loaded onto it. An album called "Housework Songs", 101 80's hits, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Michael Buble' and many many more. Of course we cranked it up to test how loud it went, and then I trolled through the songs reminiscing. My son and I were out by the pool listening and dancing away, laughing loudly and singing along.
It has been a long time since I have danced like no-one was watching. And how exhilirating it was. I could have danced all night! It definitely increased my happiness levels. So put your favourite tunes on your ipod or your stereo or your cassette player (LOL) and bop til you drop. You might even attend some dance classes or boogie while you are doing your housework. Whatever way you choose to put a little boogie in your day/night, let yourself be with the rythm of life called music. (It's a great way to exercise to boot!)
It has been a long time since I have danced like no-one was watching. And how exhilirating it was. I could have danced all night! It definitely increased my happiness levels. So put your favourite tunes on your ipod or your stereo or your cassette player (LOL) and bop til you drop. You might even attend some dance classes or boogie while you are doing your housework. Whatever way you choose to put a little boogie in your day/night, let yourself be with the rythm of life called music. (It's a great way to exercise to boot!)
Friday, October 22, 2010
Happiness from Within
For me, this week has been a great example of why it is so important to be happy from within wherever possible. Lots of challenges this year as you will know if you read this blog, blah, blah, blah...then this week blows me out of the water. First off, sleeping patterns have been very erratic and late nights and stress causing very early mornings has left me feeling exhausted and nothing was looking any better on the horizon with the slide into Christmas. I had been eating out of takeaway cartons and bags (of frozen vegetables), except for dinners at the Commercial Hotel(http://publocation.com.au/pubs/qld/tara/commercial-hotel) which were stacked with fresh salad and had the most amazing tasting T-Bone. So, I thought, a detox is on the cards. Started Monday. Feel fantastic and it's only day 5. Sleeping soundly; I wouldn't say like a baby because I know what they sleep like-poorly at times. Lots of energy throughout the day. No need for a Nanna nap in the arvo any more and I have been taking the time to look after my body and do some relaxation and turning the computer off early to spend some quality time with my husband as well. To me, detox always seems a bit scary like it will be a week of pain (and in the past it really had been very challenging when I had undertaken a detox). This week has been a week of pleasure....yet I know the detox will end on Sunday night.
Then, for months now, I have been looking to buy a new car. Finally I made my decision and on Wednesday I signed on the bottom line and now awaiting pick up. Yet I know when I get my car, that whole exciting experience of the purchase will be gone.
So what is left after that? I can't detox forever. And the bank balance won't allow for purchasing a new car every week. When I was having some thoughts earlier this morning, it came back to me why it really is important to be grateful for what I have and to look within for happiness. Well on that note I'm off to take some photos of my existing car. I'm grateful to have had it and want to remember it for all the good times we had together. Then I'll go kiss my son on his forehead and rouse him from his slumber and be grateful for the arguments that will happen (as they do with most 10 year olds, I'm sure) and get about my day, trying to remember to be grateful for every minute. Have a fab day!
Then, for months now, I have been looking to buy a new car. Finally I made my decision and on Wednesday I signed on the bottom line and now awaiting pick up. Yet I know when I get my car, that whole exciting experience of the purchase will be gone.
So what is left after that? I can't detox forever. And the bank balance won't allow for purchasing a new car every week. When I was having some thoughts earlier this morning, it came back to me why it really is important to be grateful for what I have and to look within for happiness. Well on that note I'm off to take some photos of my existing car. I'm grateful to have had it and want to remember it for all the good times we had together. Then I'll go kiss my son on his forehead and rouse him from his slumber and be grateful for the arguments that will happen (as they do with most 10 year olds, I'm sure) and get about my day, trying to remember to be grateful for every minute. Have a fab day!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I have been very busy over the last few months, dealing with some issues that have been lingering in my life for almost 10 years. You see, 10 years ago, I lost both my parents within a very short space of time. My son was 8 months old at the time. Initially, my sister was here to help me and we dealt with the immediate things like clearing out their toiletries, medicines and clothing. For some time, I was able to keep the property as a weekender and so kept the furniture and linen and we enjoyed our weekends and holidays at what was my parents home. There came a time where it was too expensive for me to continue to keep it without an income for it so I put it up for rent. The furniture and linen and 2 lifetimes of hoarding (my parents had kept most of my grandparents things as well from when they passed away over 30 years ago) went into storage. It was difficult emotionally for me to even begin to think about clearing out things. Then of course, having a tenant at the property made it even more difficult to attempt the mammoth task as I knew it was going to mean about a weeks worth of tireless hours of sorting and preparing for a garage sale.
Well, I did it. I sorted and cleared out everything. I have some furniture left which I plan to collect and bring back to my home for a more easier sale, as the property is four hours drive from my home and 3 hours from a major city. It feels pretty good to have it all done.
I have watched Peter Walsh on Oprah and mentally took note of what he recommended about decluttering. It was still very emotionally challenging. I did it on my own as well which made me feel very alone I guess. Never knowing if I had made the right choice of what to keep and what to let go. And now of course I have one regret of something that I sold but wished I had kept. And I know that is just my mind telling me I will miss it. It is something I had when I was a child. I haven't 'used' it for probably 35 years. I haven't seen it in probably 4 years (other than the day I sold it of course). Still it hurts. I know that with time the thoughts about it will come less and eventually it will hurt no more. It's tough.
And of course, what doesn't help is, when I get home, then I have to go through everything I kept and find a place in my own home for it or pack it away and at the same time clear out some of my 'stuff' to make space for the 'stuff' I brought back. It's happening. Yesterday I couldn't see daylight over my scrapping desk. Today it's clear. Other than my scrapping stuff. As soon as the table was cleared, I felt the flow come back for my Lifescrap365(http://lifescrap365.blogspot.com/) and I was able to finish off August and September. I feel flow returning for other areas of my life as well as I plod away at clearing the clutter. I am interested to see long term now how the 'decluttering of my life' plays out in the future, or not. **sigh**
So what advice would I impart for someone having to undertake a similar challenge?
1. Break it down into zones or rooms. For me, it was all in one room and I found it very hard to work out where to start. I chose to start with the linen as I knew it was in many bags and sets were not together. Once I got started with that, I was on a roll.
2. Do it alone or with someone else just as dedicated. Often people want to come and see what you are doing and have a chat. If it is a 'big' job, the less distractions, the better.
3. Have healthy meals planned. This is a time when energy, both mental and physical is paramount. Eat healthy meals and snacks.
4. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water. Try to reduce the intake of caffeinated drinks to assist with no. 5.
5. Try to get as much good quality sleep as possible. Often sleep at these times is restless and I lay awake for hours at night thinking about things I needed to do the next day. Try lavender essential oils or some relaxation techniques to assist with getting to sleep or returning to sleep.
6. Stay focused and on task. Sometimes I would start going through something, go to put something somewhere else, then get tied up there doing something, instead of returning to the original task.
7. Take short breaks. A good opportunity for short breaks is meal times. It helped me enjoy my food and refresh my focus.
8. Be well prepared. As I had plenty of time to plan (10 years!) I thought about all the things I was going to need. Markers, tarps, newspaper, packing boxes, rubbish bags and contact with a local charity who can take away goods that will be recycled after the garage sale. Before the garage sale, contact the charity and arrange a time for them to come so there is not temptation to keep anything that doesn't get sold. Many of them will distribute the goods to other towns and distribution centres if required.
9. Research decluttering information to work out a plan on how to make a decision on what to keep and what to clear out. It is challenging enough to do without having to think logically during the declutter process.
10. Set yourself a time limit (1 day, 3 days, a week, whatever it might be) and at the end of time limit, reward yourself for what you have achieved. If the job isn't finished, diary time straight away tocomplete the job and so on, until the job is complete.
Well, I did it. I sorted and cleared out everything. I have some furniture left which I plan to collect and bring back to my home for a more easier sale, as the property is four hours drive from my home and 3 hours from a major city. It feels pretty good to have it all done.
I have watched Peter Walsh on Oprah and mentally took note of what he recommended about decluttering. It was still very emotionally challenging. I did it on my own as well which made me feel very alone I guess. Never knowing if I had made the right choice of what to keep and what to let go. And now of course I have one regret of something that I sold but wished I had kept. And I know that is just my mind telling me I will miss it. It is something I had when I was a child. I haven't 'used' it for probably 35 years. I haven't seen it in probably 4 years (other than the day I sold it of course). Still it hurts. I know that with time the thoughts about it will come less and eventually it will hurt no more. It's tough.
And of course, what doesn't help is, when I get home, then I have to go through everything I kept and find a place in my own home for it or pack it away and at the same time clear out some of my 'stuff' to make space for the 'stuff' I brought back. It's happening. Yesterday I couldn't see daylight over my scrapping desk. Today it's clear. Other than my scrapping stuff. As soon as the table was cleared, I felt the flow come back for my Lifescrap365(http://lifescrap365.blogspot.com/) and I was able to finish off August and September. I feel flow returning for other areas of my life as well as I plod away at clearing the clutter. I am interested to see long term now how the 'decluttering of my life' plays out in the future, or not. **sigh**
So what advice would I impart for someone having to undertake a similar challenge?
1. Break it down into zones or rooms. For me, it was all in one room and I found it very hard to work out where to start. I chose to start with the linen as I knew it was in many bags and sets were not together. Once I got started with that, I was on a roll.
2. Do it alone or with someone else just as dedicated. Often people want to come and see what you are doing and have a chat. If it is a 'big' job, the less distractions, the better.
3. Have healthy meals planned. This is a time when energy, both mental and physical is paramount. Eat healthy meals and snacks.
4. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water. Try to reduce the intake of caffeinated drinks to assist with no. 5.
5. Try to get as much good quality sleep as possible. Often sleep at these times is restless and I lay awake for hours at night thinking about things I needed to do the next day. Try lavender essential oils or some relaxation techniques to assist with getting to sleep or returning to sleep.
6. Stay focused and on task. Sometimes I would start going through something, go to put something somewhere else, then get tied up there doing something, instead of returning to the original task.
7. Take short breaks. A good opportunity for short breaks is meal times. It helped me enjoy my food and refresh my focus.
8. Be well prepared. As I had plenty of time to plan (10 years!) I thought about all the things I was going to need. Markers, tarps, newspaper, packing boxes, rubbish bags and contact with a local charity who can take away goods that will be recycled after the garage sale. Before the garage sale, contact the charity and arrange a time for them to come so there is not temptation to keep anything that doesn't get sold. Many of them will distribute the goods to other towns and distribution centres if required.
9. Research decluttering information to work out a plan on how to make a decision on what to keep and what to clear out. It is challenging enough to do without having to think logically during the declutter process.
10. Set yourself a time limit (1 day, 3 days, a week, whatever it might be) and at the end of time limit, reward yourself for what you have achieved. If the job isn't finished, diary time straight away tocomplete the job and so on, until the job is complete.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Another healthy idea
I have been definitely feeling the cold the last few days. In winter, I am always trying to stay as healthy as possible. You may remember my post this time last year about green smoothies.
Our latest family health tip involves a food processor and some fresh baby spinach and carrot. As winter is the time to make soups and casseroles and mince dishes, we have been putting carrots or baby spinach (we usually do two different vegies on top of the tomatoes etc we use for the dish) in the food processor and then add them to the dishes as they are cooking. I usually do the carrots first. I peel them and cut them up into one inch chunks then wiz them then add them to the cooking dish. Then I do the baby spinach. A huge amount in the food processor and again wiz and add to the cooking dish near the end. Kids don't even know they are in there. You should have seen the look on Jacob's face when he heard me telling the naturopath that this is what I did. Priceless.
You could do it with practically any vegie:
* Carrots
* Baby spinach
* Cauliflower
* Broccoli
* Celery
* Beans
* Sweet Potato
* Tomatoes(although my son would say they are a fruit cos they have seeds!)
The list is only really restricted by your imagination and your green grocery. I'd love to hear any of your vegie blend stories! Stay healthy!
Our latest family health tip involves a food processor and some fresh baby spinach and carrot. As winter is the time to make soups and casseroles and mince dishes, we have been putting carrots or baby spinach (we usually do two different vegies on top of the tomatoes etc we use for the dish) in the food processor and then add them to the dishes as they are cooking. I usually do the carrots first. I peel them and cut them up into one inch chunks then wiz them then add them to the cooking dish. Then I do the baby spinach. A huge amount in the food processor and again wiz and add to the cooking dish near the end. Kids don't even know they are in there. You should have seen the look on Jacob's face when he heard me telling the naturopath that this is what I did. Priceless.
You could do it with practically any vegie:
* Carrots
* Baby spinach
* Cauliflower
* Broccoli
* Celery
* Beans
* Sweet Potato
* Tomatoes(although my son would say they are a fruit cos they have seeds!)
The list is only really restricted by your imagination and your green grocery. I'd love to hear any of your vegie blend stories! Stay healthy!
Friday, June 11, 2010
On Looking Back
If you read my blog at all, you will know that I tend to bang on about ways to achieve an inner peace. Last year, I had a relatively uneventful year. When I say uneventful, I mean everything ran smoothly. My family was healthy, I enjoyed supporting my friends through their challenges, my son's education was going great and my business was growing. I had many personal wins with making contact with a few family members who had alienated themselves and in some other areas.
This year has been completely different so far. As you may know, again if you read my blog, that my son has had an ongoing (although almost completely resolved now) health issue and I myself have also had a little health scare. I have learned heaps of life lessons so far this year. Here's just a few to mention: 1) A life long dedication to fulfilling commitments come hell or high water is of absolutely no help when you have an unwell child for more than a week. 2) Sometimes many professionals have the ability to convince you that they have the answer for you when you are 'desperate' for an answer. 3) Stress and worry aren't something that only happens later in life. It can also happen in children. 4) No matter how much you research inner peace and practice it in your everyday life under calm unchallenging circumstances, when it comes to challenging times, it's a different matter.
I have been writing my newsletter from a book I'm reading called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. As far as reading goes, I find it challenging to read. I've been reading the book for a couple of years now and I think I am still in the first half of the book. It has a great message, there is no doubt about that. I guess I'm looking for more. I guess I'm looking for tips on creating more inner peace in challenging times.
Now I know that what Eckhart says can be used in challenging times. It's just that it's extremely difficult in challenging times as that is when the mind is the most powerful and your ability to achieve inner peace is at it's weakest. Does that make sense?
So I picked up a book called The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris (I'm not sure if you do that....read a couple of books at once. I don't do it with novels. I do tend to do it with self-help books though) and over the coming year, amongst the other things I am hoping to complete this year, I'm looking forward to reading more about The Happiness Trap. I'll keep you posted. If you would like to receive a copy of my newsletter, please email me at sjjbrown@optusnet.com.au
This year has been completely different so far. As you may know, again if you read my blog, that my son has had an ongoing (although almost completely resolved now) health issue and I myself have also had a little health scare. I have learned heaps of life lessons so far this year. Here's just a few to mention: 1) A life long dedication to fulfilling commitments come hell or high water is of absolutely no help when you have an unwell child for more than a week. 2) Sometimes many professionals have the ability to convince you that they have the answer for you when you are 'desperate' for an answer. 3) Stress and worry aren't something that only happens later in life. It can also happen in children. 4) No matter how much you research inner peace and practice it in your everyday life under calm unchallenging circumstances, when it comes to challenging times, it's a different matter.
I have been writing my newsletter from a book I'm reading called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. As far as reading goes, I find it challenging to read. I've been reading the book for a couple of years now and I think I am still in the first half of the book. It has a great message, there is no doubt about that. I guess I'm looking for more. I guess I'm looking for tips on creating more inner peace in challenging times.
Now I know that what Eckhart says can be used in challenging times. It's just that it's extremely difficult in challenging times as that is when the mind is the most powerful and your ability to achieve inner peace is at it's weakest. Does that make sense?
So I picked up a book called The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris (I'm not sure if you do that....read a couple of books at once. I don't do it with novels. I do tend to do it with self-help books though) and over the coming year, amongst the other things I am hoping to complete this year, I'm looking forward to reading more about The Happiness Trap. I'll keep you posted. If you would like to receive a copy of my newsletter, please email me at sjjbrown@optusnet.com.au
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Curiosity
"Curiosity is a sign of mental and imaginative engagement with life." (Babara Ann Kipfer-1001 Ways to Live in the Moment)
Some people are not curious in their life. Some people think their life is the only way to live and want to show everyone how they live their life so those other people can live their life the same way. They usually aren't interested about anyone else's life and what they are doing in their life. Quite often these people judge other's success, worth and appropriateness against their own way of life which can bring about a belief that if you aren't doing things the same as them, then there is something wrong with you or your way of life.
Being curious about others keeps you learning and creative and can also decrease your judgement of others. When was the last time you had a conversation with your friend or spouse and completely listened to what they were saying? Instead of thinking about whether what they have done is right or wrong, focus on their words. Be curious about what they are saying and seek to hear more of their story. When you are curious about others, you get to find out a lot more about them and being curious and inquisitive also helps to build stronger bonds with people.
Some people are not curious in their life. Some people think their life is the only way to live and want to show everyone how they live their life so those other people can live their life the same way. They usually aren't interested about anyone else's life and what they are doing in their life. Quite often these people judge other's success, worth and appropriateness against their own way of life which can bring about a belief that if you aren't doing things the same as them, then there is something wrong with you or your way of life.
Being curious about others keeps you learning and creative and can also decrease your judgement of others. When was the last time you had a conversation with your friend or spouse and completely listened to what they were saying? Instead of thinking about whether what they have done is right or wrong, focus on their words. Be curious about what they are saying and seek to hear more of their story. When you are curious about others, you get to find out a lot more about them and being curious and inquisitive also helps to build stronger bonds with people.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Synchronicity
Does this ever happen to you. You are thinking of an old friend and then they call. Or you think about something happening to someone and the next time you speak with them, they tell you, without knowing about your thoughts, that that incident actually happened to them.
I had this happen yesterday. In the middle of the day I had a thought about a client and then dismissed this thought. When I spoke with that client last night, I mentioned to her what thought had come to me and at what time. She confirmed that approximately at the time, exactly what I had thought about actually took place.
Carl Jung, known as the founder of analytical psychology, calls this 'synchronicity' and says that these coincidences relate to the collective unconscious and that we may be more connected than we know or think. It's almost a little spooky, isn't it?
I had this happen yesterday. In the middle of the day I had a thought about a client and then dismissed this thought. When I spoke with that client last night, I mentioned to her what thought had come to me and at what time. She confirmed that approximately at the time, exactly what I had thought about actually took place.
Carl Jung, known as the founder of analytical psychology, calls this 'synchronicity' and says that these coincidences relate to the collective unconscious and that we may be more connected than we know or think. It's almost a little spooky, isn't it?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Every Day Challenges
Every person has their challenges in life. Different people have different levels of challenges but to each and every person they are a challenge nonetheless.
I find to help balance the 'everyday challenges' it's beneficial to have something to look forward to. Something you can use almost as an escape when the challenge is taking over your mind.
When I worked full time for someone else, I planned my holidays for the year. When I returned from one holiday, I would book dates for the next holiday. Sometimes the dates would already be booked. And I would only have to change my focus from the past holiday to what action I can take to work toward the next holiday.
Sometimes in our lives we can get really caught up in our 'challenges' and we can forget to give ourselves something to look forward to. I have heard of people who get to work hours before their start time and leave well after their finish time and have years worth of holidays accrued.
What are you looking forward to? What do you need to do to give yourself something to look forward to? What keeps you moving through the daily challenges?
I find to help balance the 'everyday challenges' it's beneficial to have something to look forward to. Something you can use almost as an escape when the challenge is taking over your mind.
When I worked full time for someone else, I planned my holidays for the year. When I returned from one holiday, I would book dates for the next holiday. Sometimes the dates would already be booked. And I would only have to change my focus from the past holiday to what action I can take to work toward the next holiday.
Sometimes in our lives we can get really caught up in our 'challenges' and we can forget to give ourselves something to look forward to. I have heard of people who get to work hours before their start time and leave well after their finish time and have years worth of holidays accrued.
What are you looking forward to? What do you need to do to give yourself something to look forward to? What keeps you moving through the daily challenges?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Routine tasks
Most people I speak with say it is when they are performing routine tasks that their mind goes to auto pilot. If that's the case for you, mix it up a little; use a new tool or product, perform the task at a different time, try a different technique, add some music, burn some incense or oils, or practice being aware of the sensations you are feeling. Or think of things that help you stay in the present and incorporate them into your routine tasks.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Silence is Golden
Firstly, please allow me to apologise for not posting as often as I would like to. I went on a holiday away from my computer over Easter and what has come of that has been a recognition that right now, with the family health situation, the computer is not helping me to be happy. Therefore I have been putting my energies into other more 'happy' provoking tasks.
As I sit here today though in a beautiful quiet moment, I find happiness and want to share. My husband is off watching the ANZAC Day footy game (Collingwood vs Essendon) at a mates place and Jacob is feeling well enough to visit his friend down the street. I'm not sure how long it has been since you have sat in silence. It is something truly fantastic. So when you can, find a nice quiet place to sit and listen. See what gentle sounds drift through the silence. For me, I love camping close to the ocean(I said close-not too close-it sounds like jet engine!) for this simple reason. In particular, when you go to bed at night, you can listen to the silence then the gentle sounds of the ocean become apparent..........and it washes away the stress with it's waves. Another great example of this is fire. I like to be last to bed so I can sit and be mesmerised by the flames. Where do you find golden silence? What washes away your stresses?
As I sit here today though in a beautiful quiet moment, I find happiness and want to share. My husband is off watching the ANZAC Day footy game (Collingwood vs Essendon) at a mates place and Jacob is feeling well enough to visit his friend down the street. I'm not sure how long it has been since you have sat in silence. It is something truly fantastic. So when you can, find a nice quiet place to sit and listen. See what gentle sounds drift through the silence. For me, I love camping close to the ocean(I said close-not too close-it sounds like jet engine!) for this simple reason. In particular, when you go to bed at night, you can listen to the silence then the gentle sounds of the ocean become apparent..........and it washes away the stress with it's waves. Another great example of this is fire. I like to be last to bed so I can sit and be mesmerised by the flames. Where do you find golden silence? What washes away your stresses?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Repairs Needed?
Are you constantly thinking or worrying about the things you need to do at home? Here's a suggestion of how you can take action. Allocate some time to have a thorough look around your home. When you do, try to look at it with the eyes of a stranger. Take notice of the chores or tasks required and make a note of them. Prioritise them with a A, B, C system (A being high priority, B being medium priority and C being low priority). Then formulate a plan that fits in with your lifestyle to undertake theses tasks. Your plan might be that on the weekend you complete one A ranked action, one B ranked actions and if there is time one C ranked action. And you might plan to get 3 A actions done per month, 3 B actions done per month and 3 C actions done per month. Make sure your goal is realistic. Knowing you have this plan (as long as you stick to it and take action when you can) can go a long way in helping to stop the constant thinking about what's not right with your home and can increase your mindfulness. You may also want to make a list of the things you are grateful for around your home. Remember to tick off the actions on your action plain (or 'to do' list) as you do them for an increased sense of satisfaction.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Stop the Stress-Breathe in Life
Here I was, just before, at my desk, writing my newsletter and still having a bit of inner turmoil about the fact that we have a huge water leak and it's going to be a bit of a task to fix it. Anyway, I realised, we have taken all the action we can, at this point in time to rectify the situation. I sat there, looked out my window at my beautiful garden and took three deep breaths; I listened to the sounds of the birds and cars, I looked at the leaves on my frangipani tree and rubbed my barefeet on the carpet. Life is good!
In our day, too many of us (me inclusive) forget to breathe and we breathe too shallow. Stop for a moment during your day (aim for a minimum of 3 times) and remind yourself of deep breathing and how good it feels. Take at least 3 three deep breaths each time you stop for that moment. Please share if you try this as to what results, if any, you get.
In our day, too many of us (me inclusive) forget to breathe and we breathe too shallow. Stop for a moment during your day (aim for a minimum of 3 times) and remind yourself of deep breathing and how good it feels. Take at least 3 three deep breaths each time you stop for that moment. Please share if you try this as to what results, if any, you get.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A Perfect Example
The drama queen in me wants to start off by saying "I almost got killed on my way home just now" and let's just say it wouldn't be too far from the truth. You may have experienced something similar. It's a perfect example of someone who isn't living in the present and how it could affect other's lives.
I was waiting at a set of traffic lights, waiting for them to turn green. When they turned green, as I was fully present, I just took my time to get going. I wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere so slowly took off in first gear. And lucky I was slow about. I had to jam on the brakes and come to an immediate stop. Someone had come through the red light coming up on my right. I checked out their face (I always expect those people to look angry and 'in a rush'). This person was a Mum (children in the back) and looked as though she had absolutely no idea she had just run a red light. Her mind has obviously taken over so much, she really isn't noticing much in her surrounds, even safety measures like stop lights.
If I had of taken off as soon as the lights turned green, I would have been badly injured right now or worse. Please live in the present more; if not for your own safety then for someone else's safety, before it's too late.
I was waiting at a set of traffic lights, waiting for them to turn green. When they turned green, as I was fully present, I just took my time to get going. I wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere so slowly took off in first gear. And lucky I was slow about. I had to jam on the brakes and come to an immediate stop. Someone had come through the red light coming up on my right. I checked out their face (I always expect those people to look angry and 'in a rush'). This person was a Mum (children in the back) and looked as though she had absolutely no idea she had just run a red light. Her mind has obviously taken over so much, she really isn't noticing much in her surrounds, even safety measures like stop lights.
If I had of taken off as soon as the lights turned green, I would have been badly injured right now or worse. Please live in the present more; if not for your own safety then for someone else's safety, before it's too late.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Kids Worry Too
In light of being in hospital with my son last week and from watching him and listening to his thoughts and questions while he has been unwell over the past 8 weeks, I have become much more aware of how much kids worry.
My son asked me questions like "Mum, what is cancer?" (he doesn't have it but obviously has heard a little about it) and "Will I ever be better?". He also had loads of tears from fear of the what he may have to experience and fear of many things that he had never experienced before. Most of the things he experienced over the last 8 weeks or more were new to him.
My son is also very sensitive for a 10 year old so at times when my words of reassurance weren't matching my body language of uncertainty, I'm sure he was able to identify my incongruence with his intuition.
I was very aware that we were all in unchartered territory and also very aware of my son's worry. I thought I would share the things I tried with my son to ease his worry.
1. We already have a daily bedtime routine that includes a type of recap of the day. We talk about what the best thing about our day was, what was the worse thing about our day (a great time for your child to share something that is worrying or bothering them if they aren't the sort who just blurts it out) and we always have a random question like what's the best smell we smelt that day. We always end the chat on a positive note.
2.Going for a slow stroll to the park or just getting out of the house to wander around the garden (we were fortunate enough to have some sunflower plants burst into flower during this time) is a great way to live in the present. Getting out into the fresh air and being distracted by nature along with a little vitamin D does wonders for adults and children alike.
3. I invited his friends over for a light play. As he wasn't infectious, this was also a way of distracting him and helping him live in the present.
4. I gave my son back massages with lavender oil and as he had tummy pain, I also gently massaged his stomach. The power of touch is brilliant for easing worry, especially coupled with relaxing essential oils.
5. I ran him warm baths at whatever time of the day he felt like them. Besides the comfort of the warm water on his tummy, relaxing in the bath is also great for easing stress and worry.
6. I encouraged him to swim. Again the water relieved his tummy pain and the fun and exercise took his mind off the worry(helped him to live in the present as kids do this extremely well in play).
7. I showed him patience, understanding and respect for privacy so that he felt he had a soft place to fall if he needed it (even if at times I myself really wanted to run and hide).
8. We played Monopoly and Uno as a family. This was not only fun but it also took away the worry and helped time to go quickly and bonded the family unit.
9. I told the truth. At times when I didn't have the answers or didn't know if this treatment was going to be the answer, I said so. That way my body language and my words were congruent and he could tell I was being honest with him. This helped him to trust me and trust that we were going to get through this together, no matter what it took and that I was on his side.
So next time something out of the ordinary is happening in your home, remember that your children are probably feeling it just as much, if not more than you. What ideas can you share with them to arm them with the ability to ease the worry? Maybe make a list of things they like to do that distracts them and that they enjoy (more than likely they will be able to be more present doing these things). Ask them what they would like to do and help them to do it. There are lots of solutions to reducing kids worry. Please comment if you have some solutions that I have left out or want to share any experiences of your own.
My son asked me questions like "Mum, what is cancer?" (he doesn't have it but obviously has heard a little about it) and "Will I ever be better?". He also had loads of tears from fear of the what he may have to experience and fear of many things that he had never experienced before. Most of the things he experienced over the last 8 weeks or more were new to him.
My son is also very sensitive for a 10 year old so at times when my words of reassurance weren't matching my body language of uncertainty, I'm sure he was able to identify my incongruence with his intuition.
I was very aware that we were all in unchartered territory and also very aware of my son's worry. I thought I would share the things I tried with my son to ease his worry.
1. We already have a daily bedtime routine that includes a type of recap of the day. We talk about what the best thing about our day was, what was the worse thing about our day (a great time for your child to share something that is worrying or bothering them if they aren't the sort who just blurts it out) and we always have a random question like what's the best smell we smelt that day. We always end the chat on a positive note.
2.Going for a slow stroll to the park or just getting out of the house to wander around the garden (we were fortunate enough to have some sunflower plants burst into flower during this time) is a great way to live in the present. Getting out into the fresh air and being distracted by nature along with a little vitamin D does wonders for adults and children alike.
3. I invited his friends over for a light play. As he wasn't infectious, this was also a way of distracting him and helping him live in the present.
4. I gave my son back massages with lavender oil and as he had tummy pain, I also gently massaged his stomach. The power of touch is brilliant for easing worry, especially coupled with relaxing essential oils.
5. I ran him warm baths at whatever time of the day he felt like them. Besides the comfort of the warm water on his tummy, relaxing in the bath is also great for easing stress and worry.
6. I encouraged him to swim. Again the water relieved his tummy pain and the fun and exercise took his mind off the worry(helped him to live in the present as kids do this extremely well in play).
7. I showed him patience, understanding and respect for privacy so that he felt he had a soft place to fall if he needed it (even if at times I myself really wanted to run and hide).
8. We played Monopoly and Uno as a family. This was not only fun but it also took away the worry and helped time to go quickly and bonded the family unit.
9. I told the truth. At times when I didn't have the answers or didn't know if this treatment was going to be the answer, I said so. That way my body language and my words were congruent and he could tell I was being honest with him. This helped him to trust me and trust that we were going to get through this together, no matter what it took and that I was on his side.
So next time something out of the ordinary is happening in your home, remember that your children are probably feeling it just as much, if not more than you. What ideas can you share with them to arm them with the ability to ease the worry? Maybe make a list of things they like to do that distracts them and that they enjoy (more than likely they will be able to be more present doing these things). Ask them what they would like to do and help them to do it. There are lots of solutions to reducing kids worry. Please comment if you have some solutions that I have left out or want to share any experiences of your own.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Practice What I Preach
Well this week is certainly going to be a great time for me to really practice what I have been writing and reading about for the last couple of years. My son is going into hospital (fingers crossed) on Tuesday for a procedure to help to heal him. We will be in there for two days and two nights. I am thinking I will need to stay in the moment for strength and also to be calm and also to wait until the results pan out rather than pre-empting them.
The old me would have already made up some fairly elaborate, scarey stories in my mind by now and the old me would be revisiting that visualization often in the build up to going off to the hospital. I would most certainly be sick in the stomach with nerves and anxiety by now.
My son certainly did this at first when he heard what his options were and he was dead against having this procedure. He built a visualization based on fear of the unknown and fear(False Evidence Appearing Real) itself. When we got all the information, his visualization of what was going to happen changed; it was an informed one and he actually chose this solution which goes a long way when you think about what it could have been like taking him to hospital on Tuesday.
So now when and if I think about what is going to happen, a lot of the emotion has been removed (certainly the fear side of it anyway). We are thinking of it in an excited way. Knowing that it will bring relief to his pain and that he can be a normal kid again. We are also thinking it's a little bit like going on a holiday. You still prepare in similar ways; pack your clothes and toiletries, pack your favourite toys (mine are in don't worry!), let your family know where you can be reached etc. The only difference is on this adventure it will just be the two of us instead of the whole family. That in itself also has it's positives too.
I will keep you posted(well in a week or so), when he is back on the right track, of how the procedure went and how well I put into practice my knowledge and experience of living in the moment.
The old me would have already made up some fairly elaborate, scarey stories in my mind by now and the old me would be revisiting that visualization often in the build up to going off to the hospital. I would most certainly be sick in the stomach with nerves and anxiety by now.
My son certainly did this at first when he heard what his options were and he was dead against having this procedure. He built a visualization based on fear of the unknown and fear(False Evidence Appearing Real) itself. When we got all the information, his visualization of what was going to happen changed; it was an informed one and he actually chose this solution which goes a long way when you think about what it could have been like taking him to hospital on Tuesday.
So now when and if I think about what is going to happen, a lot of the emotion has been removed (certainly the fear side of it anyway). We are thinking of it in an excited way. Knowing that it will bring relief to his pain and that he can be a normal kid again. We are also thinking it's a little bit like going on a holiday. You still prepare in similar ways; pack your clothes and toiletries, pack your favourite toys (mine are in don't worry!), let your family know where you can be reached etc. The only difference is on this adventure it will just be the two of us instead of the whole family. That in itself also has it's positives too.
I will keep you posted(well in a week or so), when he is back on the right track, of how the procedure went and how well I put into practice my knowledge and experience of living in the moment.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
9 Things You Can Achieve Every Day
Gretchin Rubin recently wrote an article about a list she has of nine things she achieves every day. See it here: http://bit.ly/deed20. The idea of this list is when you have an extremely busy day and fall into bed tired and exhausted wondering if you actually got anything accomplished that day, at least you have nine things that you can say you did, each and every day without fail. I thought I would make a list of the things I achieve every day and share that with you:
1. Have a healthy low calorie breakfast
2. Drink at least one bottle of water
3. Undertake some kind of exercise
4. Stay within the speed limits
5. Clean something in the house
6. Eat at least 1 piece of fruit and 3 serves of vegetables
7. Brush my teeth
8. Check and reply to emails, social networking messages, etc.
9. Do at least one thing 'just for fun'
10. Go to bed at or before 10.30. This is my bonus for the day. Guess I didn't make that today. If you were to list your 9 things that you achieve every day, what would they be?
1. Have a healthy low calorie breakfast
2. Drink at least one bottle of water
3. Undertake some kind of exercise
4. Stay within the speed limits
5. Clean something in the house
6. Eat at least 1 piece of fruit and 3 serves of vegetables
7. Brush my teeth
8. Check and reply to emails, social networking messages, etc.
9. Do at least one thing 'just for fun'
10. Go to bed at or before 10.30. This is my bonus for the day. Guess I didn't make that today. If you were to list your 9 things that you achieve every day, what would they be?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Work Life Balance
Here is a link to some great ideas about creating a better work life balance. Worth a look.
http://aww.ninemsn.com.au/news/newsstories/1020550/the-age-of-happiness
http://aww.ninemsn.com.au/news/newsstories/1020550/the-age-of-happiness
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